okay, like now I baru habis baca magazine college. Yang last year punya-2010. And I turned to page 123. Ada article from Emerra Bahari. She's my batchmate also my beloved friend; Emme. From her article she wrote about Ama-my batchmate too. Like bila baca I terus rasa sedih and nangis. So here the story~
So I just read her journal. No just me, the others did too.The moment we started reading her 'feeling', tears we already forming at the back of our eyes. Who knew that strong friend of ours had been hiding her misery behind those beautiful smiles of hers.
Amalina, Ama for short. A pretty face, heart-melting smiles, long straight hair, round eyes. Ama was close to perfect. A father, a mother and such an adorable sister, she had a happy family. What else? Just say it, she had it all. the perfect boyfriend? She had that too. As we thought they would last forever, fate just didn't agree.
Being a fifth former in our school, she was just like any other student, except for the fact she had this sweet guy in her life. That made us feel much more envious. Arif or his common name, Engku, was a lucky guy. Of all guys that approached Ama, that waited for her, Engku was the one. Ama's first love. He won her heart just because he was different. He was not one of those desperate guys. He was simply Engku Arif Adlan, Ama's heartthrob.
They might not be schoolmates, but they were sweethearts. In love, they were made for each other. It was another year of their love story. It had been more than two years, the third year, maybe? Who cares? It was their story that we listened to and we were not tired of that yet. Surprisingly, we always wanted more.
We thought they would grow up together. we thought they were going to get someday and we would lend a hand at the ceremony. We thought Aman and Engku would tell us stories of their children. We thought. we just thought.That seems pretty impossible now because the Almight disagreed.
September 7th, what a day. 'What a pleasant morning'. I thought to myself. If only I knew. I sat by the window, switched on my desktop, and opened the internet. Logged on to my facebook, I saw Danial's status; Al-fatihah for late Engku, the great brother'
What was this? Another joke by Daniel and Engku? A minute later, Faizal called. Told me about Engku's death and how it happened. I was shocked!! Ama came to mind. How was Ama?
I just met Engku three days back, it was Bex's birthday. He came to pick Ama up. I just met him and now he was gone? You left Ama, Engku. You left her. Mad as I was. I knew he was not to be blamed.
I wanted to understand what she felt. Badly, I wanted to be there for her, but I couldn't. I tried, at least. Losing an important person that played a big role in your life, that was not easy to face. It was more of an impossible things to do by a regular, soft-hearted girl like most of us here. Amalina was not one of them. She was stronger than that. She faced that, and accepted tha fact eventhough it was a though one.
To watch your dead loves ones hurt. It's hard. It's heartbreaking. Ama felt that. That were times when she needed him the most, she bawled her heart out. Still, she got through the perfectly. Our strong Amalina.
I have never know that friends could be really important. Seriously. 'Family is all you need; is what I held onto in life. Now I get it, FRIENDS are FAMILY.
I started to see that sweet role of being a friend after Engku's death. It's touching now everyone's there's for Ama. To catch her when she's about to fall, to lend our ears hen she needs to spill things out, to lend our ears when she needs to spill things out, to lend shoulders when she's about to cry, and most important is to be a friend when she needs one.
We can't find Engku's replacement. We won't ever try because we know no one is perfect like Engku was. We can't let her not to miss Engku because we miss him too. We can't make her laugh and smile like Engku did, but we're trying our best to make her happy again. All we can do is be her friends. As much as we want to, we're glad she lets us.
In one important years, she lost her love. SPM is approaching. I dare to say that Ama is going to be alright. She knows Engku is watching her from up there, by the side of God. She's strong, she knows he wants her to be. Hopefully, she knows that she has us here, by her side.Always. Ama is going to be okay.
Dear Engku,
if you can see that I'm writing this for your girlfriend,
you kow she's okay. We believe taht things happen for a reasons, Engku.
We'll take care of her, maybe not as well as you did, but as long as she's safe
I guess you're okay with it.
Amalina misses you badly. We do too.
But that's life. No one stays.
May your soul rest in peace, Engku Arif Adlan.
Al-fatihah....
